Date: Mon, 19 Aug kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 96 : Issue 99 

From: Wendy
Subject: Re: Throat Chakra

Hi Mary,

Wanted to add that I really 'clicked' in on this message from you about your
insight today.  And that, for me, chills/shivers have always been a big
'yes' of confirmation and Truth.

Wendy

>Date: Sun, 18 Aug
Subject: Re: white light

Dear Dan and all,

Michelle here.  I also have found that I have gone through stages where I
have strange maladies - which are unexplainable by doctors, and they have
generally made me feel quite neurotic.  I think of these strange hurts as
manifestations of the obvious change I am going through now.

It is only recently that I am able to see that it all fits together, and I
think confusion is part of the development stage - so sorry, but I haven't
got a remedy for your sunburn, other than accepting it as obvious proof for
you that you are undergoing a sensativity to other peoples energy fields.

You mentioned that you find white light rather painful.  It is only
recently that I have been able to accept pure white light.  I think of this
experience as a journey up a ladder.  In the beginning it was better for me
to just visualize ANY color - I didn't care what others thought the color
signified.  All that mattered was that I WAS able to see, and sometimes
feel colors.  In time white light came to me naturally, and with glory,
grace, and love.  I think these things should be taken slowly, and our body
needs to adjust to the newness of it's new SELF.

Take it slowly, and only accept that which feels natural to you.

In light and love,

Michelle


>Well I don't know what it is, but I've always found white light rather
>painful, the brighter, the worse the pain. And just pure white light, not
>any other colour. of course, I'm the kind of person who gets "spiritual
>sunburns" - these are if someone touches me on the shoulder (normally
>shoulder area) I will have
>a literal sunburn, and it will be painful and burning when they do this.
>even someone tapping me on the shoulder or patting me on the back, you know
>that sort of thing, can result in intense pain (on contact) and sunburn,
>plus the occasional welting, etc. Handshakes can also cause me great pain.
>
>I seem to have narrowed this down to part of my empathic ability, as with
>everything except handshakes, only occurs with men, or if it's unexpected.
>handshakes are painful regardless, unless i prepare myself first or it's
>someone I know well. I usually avoid this kind of contact at all cost.
>
>I've checked out medical causes, there aren't any. even wearing a tshirt,
>shirt, sweater, and winter coat with liner, I'll still feel pain and get a
>sunburn in the area of contact. It doesnt need to be "bare skin" or whatever.
>
>Just thought I'd share something strange about myself with everyone, and
>perhaps someone would have some bright ideas.
>
>Dan.
>Dan.
>There are always possibilities...


Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996 
From: cmwithATNOSPAMcris.com (Michelle Withers)
Subject: Re: kundalini

Dear Dan and all,

Michelle here.  I just had to reply to Dan again today as his words struck
a chord within me.

Dan was saying...


>Anyhow, it just shows I was a bit too high on the volume or sensitivity
>settings. gads, I feel like i'm trying to tune this wacky stereo that didnt
>come with any instructions (at least not in any understandable language I
>know of).
>

:)  ha ha ha.  I know this feeling of trying to tune the stereo - VERY
well, and it can be SO frustrating.  It's all tuning feelings, and there is
nobody other than you who can help you out.  Listen to your feelings.

For me this was a stage of my development, and just as I was getting the
hang of it, heaven changed channels completely on me, and we went to
another area of sight.

>It's been about three weeks now, and apart from weird food restrictions from
>those I've consulted, I've had a cold, an inflamed gland in my throat, and
>tonight ran a fever of 103 (although I'm ALWAYS inordinately hot - likely my
>excessively high metabolism).

Been there - done that.  :)  I now understand that all the illness was my
body clearing the way for this intense experience I am going through now.
I haven't hardly even had a cold since heaven started in one me.  :)

>
>All of a sudden I'm feeling really strange too, worldly things are more
>important, and my friends, family and job are no longer of any consequence,
>it's like a chapter has been closed on my life, and I'm moving forward to
>the next section.

Wonderful!!  Moving on anew - I also have had these times during
development where it literally felt like I had closed that chapter of my
life, and I was starting on a fresh chapter - with a different way of
looking at life, more insightful, and seemed like I had a better take on
life, and knew how to handle life and it's problems from a different point
of view.

>
>And to top it all off, my eyes have changed color, literally. I think
>they've settled since the k, but they were fluctuating a bit, (originally
>deep chocolate brown, unmistakeable), one day they were blue, another day
>green, one day yellow, now they're a yellow-ish green-ish hazel, almost no
>brown. the yellow or green gets accented a lot still, changing the primary
>color. I didnt think this was medically possible...

:)  ha ha.  My eyes have changed color aswell.  when I was a child my eyes
changed color only once, from blue to grey when I was about 10.  They
stayed grey until I was about 18, when they turned green.  Now I am 31, and
they change color all the time.  I think hazel eyes have many shades which
are possible.  Although I do think that this change we are going through is
much to blame for the changes in my eyes - and maybe yours also.  When I am
working on my visionary art, my eyes turn a really different color green -
more green than there really is in my eyes ordinarily, and I can actually
watch in the mirror, as they turn back to their normal color, as I become
more present.

I think of these changes as positive proof - intended just for me - that we
are changing, and accepting miraculous changes within our bodies.

Enjoy the maddness  :)

In light and love,

Michelle


 
Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: mxoATNOSPAMpyrite.som.cwru.edu (Maimu Alber)
Subject: Re: Ego

Von said:

 An easy life is a wasted life. 
>

This past weekend, a friend quoted M. Scott Peck's first line from The Road
Less Travelled:  "Life is difficult," and he professed this to be an
irrefutable basic truth.  I, OTOH, believe that words like "easy" and
"difficult" are subjective, and judgemental at best.  IMNSHO, life isn't
difficult or easy....life just *is.*  

How we perceive anything at all, is merely that...a matter of perception.  I
also believe that we, through our perceptions and beliefs, shape and create
our own reality.  If we believe, for example, that an easy life is a wasted
life...it will be.  Likewise, if we believe that life is difficult, it will
be.  

Rather than view it as "an easy life is a wasted life" or "life is
difficult"  I am inclined to go with Socrates, who said "an unexamined life
is not worth living."   This keeps me openminded to growth, change, and
whatever comes down the pike, with a focus on learning.  If I set myself
into a mindset of preconceived ideas and inflexible judgements, where do I
have left to go?

Maimu


 
      *** Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake. --Thoreau ***

                             


Date: Mon, 19 Aug 
From: GrandmmaATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: Void

 I am new to this computer stuff and frequently get lost on line but am
learning ever so slowly.  I have been in a full blown K awakening for
approximately 3 years.  Awesome stuff.  I have been doing a lot of writing
and felt the need to share a poem I wrote concerning the void.  So here it
is.
THE VOID OF SOLACE
The freedom to grow into being
is found only in a space
apart from the structure of chaos
detached from the human race.
And in this space, set apart from
time
transcendent from the guise
there finds the place of 
solace
where all true power 
lies.
For it's the space that holds the
light
in the portals of the mind
to see all God's creation
through the eyes of human
kind.
And it's in this space of
silence,
where lie the seeds I
sow
containing only love's
embrace
that's  where desire
grows.
And it's the space between the
sounds
in which no limits can
discern
that pause between the notes to
build
the music time 
returns.
And it's the space beside 
each
thought
where my beloved calls 
to
me
In the quiet of the
moment
There lies
eternity.
For I play in the open
space,
create in the hollow
place
and suffer for redeaming
grace
All inside the
void
Where the sounds of
silence
reveal to me

All creation as
one
Epiphany. 

I hope someone enjoys this poem and finds some wisdom and insight in the
words.  Words do not serve in this new awareness.  But I find solace in my
feeble attempts to make sense in words that do not always serve. 
Reading your posts, I realize I have found a group of people who speak my
language.
Hurray!  I hope to figure this computer thing out so I can join the group.
 God bless and peace be with you all.  I send you light and love,
                                               Jean 


Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Dan Gahlinger
Subject: Re: white light

At 09:41 AM 8/19/96 -0500, you wrote:
>Dear Dan and all,
>
>Michelle here.  I also have found that I have gone through stages where I
>have strange maladies - which are unexplainable by doctors, and they have
>generally made me feel quite neurotic.  I think of these strange hurts as
>manifestations of the obvious change I am going through now.
>
>It is only recently that I am able to see that it all fits together, and I
>think confusion is part of the development stage - so sorry, but I haven't
>got a remedy for your sunburn, other than accepting it as obvious proof for
>you that you are undergoing a sensativity to other peoples energy fields.

actually the "sunburn" and handshaking pain has been around in my life for
over 20 years. I can't really say if it's more or less pronounced after my k
or not.
My sensitivity to bright white light seems to have lessened somewhat in the
last day though. I think this will change over time.

Yeah, the changes are nerve-wracking, and you don't want to tell anyone,
especially a doctor, or anything less they put you in a padded room. :)

>
>You mentioned that you find white light rather painful.  It is only
>recently that I have been able to accept pure white light.  I think of this
>experience as a journey up a ladder.  In the beginning it was better for me
>to just visualize ANY color - I didn't care what others thought the color
>signified.  All that mattered was that I WAS able to see, and sometimes
>feel colors.  In time white light came to me naturally, and with glory,
>grace, and love.  I think these things should be taken slowly, and our body
>needs to adjust to the newness of it's new SELF.

It's not visualization that I have the problem with white light. Actually,
speaking of visualization, I usually can't visualize white light at all, or
at least very rarely. Black is very easy for me. :) I never really thought
of doing other colors, but now that you mention it, I will. Grey is kinda
boring. :)  I'll definitely have to work on this. My visual memory is quite
short term and very poor even though I have a near-photographic memory.

>
>Take it slowly, and only accept that which feels natural to you.

i'm the hyperimpatient type, so taking things slow is a real battle. I am
also finding what "feels natural" is no longer a static thing I can count on
being correct, at least, not since the last 6 months anyhow.

For the last few months, I've been trying to "follow my feelings" y'know,
the ole "listen to your heart" routine, unfortunately it hasn't been working
that well, I can't seem to get a direction out of it.

Dan.
There are always possibilities...


Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Arlene Benjamin
Subject: Changes

Hi Gemini Dan:

I don't profess to have any deep insights here about what you are experiencing.
Have you looked up the meaning of the colors that you are experiencing? That 
may provide some insight.

And remember you Guardians and Guides. They are there waiting to assist you.
All you need do is ask.

Blessings,
Namaste'...Scorpio Arlene :)
How wonderful
How mysterious
I gather firewood
and carry water

P'ang Chu-Shi


Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Dan Gahlinger
Subject: Re: kundalini

At 10:09 AM 8/19/96 -0500, you wrote:
>Dear Dan and all,
>
>Michelle here.  I just had to reply to Dan again today as his words struck
>a chord within me.
>
>Dan was saying...
>
>>Anyhow, it just shows I was a bit too high on the volume or sensitivity
>>settings. gads, I feel like i'm trying to tune this wacky stereo that didnt
>>come with any instructions (at least not in any understandable language I
>>know of).
>>
>
>:)  ha ha ha.  I know this feeling of trying to tune the stereo - VERY
>well, and it can be SO frustrating.  It's all tuning feelings, and there is
>nobody other than you who can help you out.  Listen to your feelings.
>
>For me this was a stage of my development, and just as I was getting the
>hang of it, heaven changed channels completely on me, and we went to
>another area of sight.
>

augh. yeah, every day it seems i wake up different. somedays i just feel
like giving up, letting the world destroy itself, but nahh... :)
I usually feel like death warmed over in the mornings... ughhhh...

>>It's been about three weeks now, and apart from weird food restrictions from
>>those I've consulted, I've had a cold, an inflamed gland in my throat, and
>>tonight ran a fever of 103 (although I'm ALWAYS inordinately hot - likely my
>>excessively high metabolism).
>
>Been there - done that.  :)  I now understand that all the illness was my
>body clearing the way for this intense experience I am going through now.
>I haven't hardly even had a cold since heaven started in one me.  :)

oh goody. I've had a cold for most of my life, or it sure seems that way.
 I'm really glad to hear that this will end someday soon. yeah! :)

>
>>
>>All of a sudden I'm feeling really strange too, worldly things are more
>>important, and my friends, family and job are no longer of any consequence,
>>it's like a chapter has been closed on my life, and I'm moving forward to
>>the next section.
>
>Wonderful!!  Moving on anew - I also have had these times during
>development where it literally felt like I had closed that chapter of my
>life, and I was starting on a fresh chapter - with a different way of
>looking at life, more insightful, and seemed like I had a better take on
>life, and knew how to handle life and it's problems from a different point
>of view.

this is a good thing?? oooooooooh-kay...  It's not something I'd put
in the "good things" category, but, if you say so.  yes, the awareness is
severely high, I get feeds from the world itself, and beyond now, the bigger
picture as it were. I feel like I'm moving up. I just hope I don't loose
sight of the significance of this world as I ascend.

>>
>>And to top it all off, my eyes have changed color, literally. I think
>>they've settled since the k, but they were fluctuating a bit, (originally
>>deep chocolate brown, unmistakeable), one day they were blue, another day
>>green, one day yellow, now they're a yellow-ish green-ish hazel, almost no
>>brown. the yellow or green gets accented a lot still, changing the primary
>>color. I didnt think this was medically possible...
>
>:)  ha ha.  My eyes have changed color aswell.  when I was a child my eyes
>changed color only once, from blue to grey when I was about 10.  They
>stayed grey until I was about 18, when they turned green.  Now I am 31, and
>they change color all the time.  I think hazel eyes have many shades which
>are possible.  Although I do think that this change we are going through is
>much to blame for the changes in my eyes - and maybe yours also.  When I am
>working on my visionary art, my eyes turn a really different color green -
>more green than there really is in my eyes ordinarily, and I can actually
>watch in the mirror, as they turn back to their normal color, as I become
>more present.
>
>I think of these changes as positive proof - intended just for me - that we
>are changing, and accepting miraculous changes within our bodies.

smirk. I'm 29 right now and i didnt think changing eye color was medically
possible. Another one of those mysteries we may never figure out. Ah it was
just a shock, looking into the mirror, and "my eyes are BLUE! eeek!" or
green or "yellow?!?" gaaaaaah... I ask my guides "what do you think you're
doing?" they just snicker.

my spiritual mother, fate (or destiny if you prefer) is a very, yes, I'll
call her obnoxious,  entity. she's been there since my change (not k)
at 8yrs old. she has never spoken to me since then, until recently, getting
that kind of comfort and support is one thing that's really helped.

>
>Enjoy the maddness  :)

snicker. reminds me of one of my favourite songs, which I can never remember
the words properly, something like "weird and weird together makes
super-weird, and then it becomes fun".  it's from one of the most
insane tv shows I've ever watched, vaguely translated, the title is "those
obnoxious aliens" but... :)

Dan.
there are always possibilities...


Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: "Michael J. Davis"
Subject: Guides

Hello All:

I have been lurking here for a few weeks and finally would like to ask a
question.

Most of the energy work that I do is based in the martial arts. At a seminar
that I attended in March of this year, the host had a couple of ladies come
in and do some Kirlian photography. We took a "before" picture which
represented us cold (i.e. a normal state). We then spent about 5 minutes
performing some chi kung to raise the energy level and took the pictures
again. Pretty amazing results!!!

Anyway, in my first picture, there was an orange "blob" sitting off my right
shoulder. The ladies taking the pictures also told us what the different
colors and such ment. I was told that this orange "blob" was a spirit guide.
As a matter of fact, she told me that it was one of the largest ones she had
seen. My question to you folks is...what's your opinion on this? Can I
communicate with this "guide". I am really a novice in this area and would
like some feedback.

As a closing comment, the lady also told me that I had a hole in the aura
due to an unresolved dispute with a woman that hurt me...probably an
ex-wife. She was correct. She made the statement after I had said only one
or two things to her. Maybe a good guess...maybe not.

Michael
*******************************
Michael J. Davis
Independent Network Consultant
mjdavisATNOSPAMcompassnet.com
----------------------------------------------------------------
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.




Date: Mon, 19 Aug 
From: mxoATNOSPAMpyrite.som.cwru.edu (Maimu Alber)
Subject: Re: Guides

Michael said:

 We then spent about 5 minutes
>performing some chi kung to raise the energy level and took the pictures
>again. Pretty amazing results!!!

If chi kung can raise energy levels to a sensation similar to blood flowing
in the veins, why not show up in photograhpy?  I've seen this before.  Which
reminds me of a simple, but incredibly convincing test of mind over matter
re chi kung and energy:

While sitting in a relaxed meditative state, take your left hand and make it
into a fist, and then release it.  Flex your hand this way a number of
times, until you actually feel the muscles swell and the hand becomes tired.
Stop the flexing, and relax it.  Put your attention onto your left hand.
You will feel energy surging and tingling through it.  Change the your focus
of attention to your right hand.  Then, transfer that energy from the left
hand to your right hand.  Do not move your hands.  Simply use your mind to
will the feeling into your right hand.  Don't ask how to do this....you
*know.*  We *all* know.  Just do it.  Within a few seconds, you will feel
the tingling energy sensation in both hands.  

Try it.  It works.   The first time I did this, I was really surprised at
how effortlessly I could do it:  using the mind to direct energy in the
body.   It convinced me of the value of chi kung visualization for healing,
energizing, and whatever else we need it for. 

 I was told that this orange "blob" was a spirit guide.
>As a matter of fact, she told me that it was one of the largest ones she had
>seen. My question to you folks is...what's your opinion on this? 

The other night, before going to bed, I was in a really solid alpha/theta
state during chi kung (my friend Jeff had begun with me, but was snoring on
the floor by this time...)... a somber young girl came to me.  Long hair,
lavendar dress, about 10 years old and stood before me.  I did not recognize
her, she didn't introduce herself and didn't stay long, but I somehow knew
why she came....to be my spirit guide.   I've never had something that
profound happen to me during meditation..

Then....that same night I dreamed of a very colorful celebratory
funeral/wake, which is generally symbolic of some kind of breakthrough, like
the death of an old part of me or an initiation of some sort....

After some reflection, I came to believe that the spirit guide's appearance
was in fact an "initiation"...an introduction into that realm.... 

Maimu


 
      *** Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake. --Thoreau ***