Date: Sat, 10 Aug kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 96 : Issue 84 

From: SYL228ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Changing our lifestyles

Michelle:

Thanks so much for that wonderful post. You put it all so beautifully.

Like you I have changed so much inside.  I finally know who I am, and more of
the real me is being revealed daily.  Like you I seem to be more loving,
probably because I have finally accepted myself.  It seems to me we judge,
primarily because we are afraid we may not be good enough.  Once we realize
that we are loving beings, we can let go of all that stuff.

Spirit is the entire focus of my life, and I am much more honest about this
with others.
It saddens me when people feel that this life is all there is.  they are
missing so much.

Outwardly I also have become a bit of a gypsy.  Your comment on this made me
laugh. I always wore very colorful things, but now I assemble outfits in
different ways.  I am much more conscious of what I need to express myself in
this area.

Problems in life don't bother me as much.  For instance we had to replace a
car, a hot water heater, and needed a new gasline in one week recently--I
found it rather amusing, my friends did all the worrying for me. I am amazed
at how calm I am.

I also find small talk difficult.  I'm always the first to leave a party
because I'm bored.  I go only because we must be with people, at least I do,
otherwise I feel I might fly away altogether.  They do have a grounding
effect.

I am surrounded with loving people.  For that I  am truly grateful.But it
seems to me when you become truly loving, and reflect love out, that is what
flows back to you.  It is a natural result of the energy we are.

My biggest problem now is how to express that love in the best possible way
to help those around me.  I do it mainly through just being.  When something
comes up I use my intuition.  I'm more ready to express myself to people.
They say fools rush in where angels fear to tread.  But I'm no longer afraid
to be a fool, and surprisingly, everyone appreciates it.

What I'm not prepared to do is put myself into any of the countless boxes,
that society would impose.  I'm not a teacher, musician, mother, friend or
anything else, I am just Jule, and it is an enormous relief.

Love Jule


Date: Sat, 10 Aug 
From: GgjiATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: Introduction to Sahaja Yoga

Dear Lat,
I have passed that experience on to many people also, it does work and it
does tend to balance the energies into a more refined frequency. This is
beautiful but not all have access to the teacher. Do open yourself however,
and the Holy Spirit will guide you to a helper if your ready for it. Gloria


Date: Sat, 10 Aug 
From: "I.Juster" <>
Subject: Changing our lifestyles

My life changed a lot since I had the k. I left my job on Wall St. I got
into Tantra. I got a whole new circle of friends. A new brain, an ability to
love others, to give unconditionally, or at least to understand what it
means. Sometimes I am better at doing it than others.

Often I feel as if I really am 11 years old. As such, I have gone through
phases much like a new baby would. For the first few years, I knew very
little about the k (I didn't even find out the name for what had happened to
me until I was '3'). I was just in present time with myself and others.

Then in 'toddlerhood' I became very social, friends all the time,
everywhere. This until the age of '9'...or so. By this time I was teaching a
lot, in the fields of relationship and communication. I got to the point
where I could no longer find a teacher and let my students be my teachers.
That worked for a while. 

Then I made a sudden shift inward again. One night I had a powerful dream,
that had *me*, such that awake or asleep, I watched it, it shook me like an
earthquake. It told me to write a book, and told me what to say, in some
detail. The next day, I wrote the outline, and one week later, I had an
agent for it. This is before I had ever written a line in my life outside of
school.....

In some ways I yearn for the good old days when things were fun, free and
easy. They still are, in some ways, but in others, I feel hypersensitive to
everything. I find I enjoy staying close to home where I can control the
stimuli more easily. I notice everything! I see things no one else sees. We
can laugh about it, and that is good, though I really wish that I didn't do
this as much as I do. Fortunately, I have private clients who come to me
becuase I see so deeply and they are very appreciative of my gift. I have
put much love, understanding, and caring into other people's lives, and that
part is always great.

I know that life is full of cycles, and I am '11', wondering what this and
future ages will bring. I am certain that they will progress and evolve. I
know that when my book gets published, which will be soon, then I will
probably be more public again and I do have some concerns. I take solace in
knowing that as I grow up, I will want and create different experiences in
life, and will mature, so as to better be able to handle them (I hope).

I always am glad to hear of others who are happy, you always touch me in
that place in me which is that way, (Namaste). 

Royale:
Re the  tingling, especially in the thighs. That is where I get them alot,
too. They dart all over my body, it's the weirdest thing, I swat them (the
tingles) like flies, at least they go away, and I am always greatful that at
least I have that much power over something! At least it isn't burning!
 And for this thing that is waking you up, hmmmmm.....have you considered
automatic writing? Or painting? In my life, the k has woken me up several
times, maybe 5. Once for the book, a few times, to tell me to stay on
course, ...like that. 

Love to all, Patti


Date: Sun, 11 Aug 
From: Boyd Ruffner <>
Subject: Unidentified subject!

I am new to computing & kudalini yoga.  I have been trying to get 
myself on your bulletin board for, literally 3 hours.    
   If by some mirical  this reachs you I want to subscribe.
   My e-mail address is :bruffner ATNOSPAM koyote.com.


Date: Sun, 11 Aug 
From: stampmanATNOSPAMix.netcom.com (Daniel Rusch-Fischer )
Subject: My 1st Experience Revisited

Hi fellow (k)ites,

Dualities with hidden binding tertiary meanings have always been a 
personal pleasure of mine. My k-experience is only 2 months old, so it 
has been there, just tickling me and laughing in the (k)nowledge that 
those tiny little mental goosings I have received and relished were to 
the k-experience as seeing a match lit on the moon is to staring into 
the sun.

Thanks to everyone who sent me personal messages in response to my 
posting of 'MY 1ST EXPERIENCE'. I, at first, felt an overwhelming sense 
of relief and validation at that sharing. Then, the fear came back; was 
I still really nuts and had just found a bowl of like-minded aberrants 
that had escaped much-needed psychoanalysis. After all, there ARE chat 
groups by genuinely-schizoid people who believe that the government is 
implanting spying devices in the citizens; even in the currency! Then, 
it (k)ame to me that these events in my life are no different than 
those that were historically labelled 'demonic' and violently 
suppressed by other establishments long past. I am 'normal' just 
uni(k)uely so! After all, doesn't the k-experience (k)ome to each in a 
different way; (k)olored by their beliefs, prejudices, fears, pasts, 
etc.? I had intended backing away from my initial contacts and erased 
all messages. My mailer squirrels backups away somewhere, but I am not 
sure exactly where - sorry. I am not anti-social, just a little jittery 
about this new bittersweet flavor of life.

Recently, I was taken back to my first experience and shown details 
that I had remembered, but not understood. I did relate them 
originally, but I reiterate them here in this new interpretation. I am 
a nirvana-newbie, so if anyone can put a more mature, philosophical 
spin on this, please let me know.

I said that I felt white-hot lava blowing through every atom of my 
body. I didn't elaborate the details as they seemed to just support the 
physical interpretation and perception of the event. I perceived my 
body as a complete entity, except that as the 'lava' blew upward 
through my body it passed between the atoms that made up my 'body'. The 
'atoms' were extremely few and not connected to each other. By 
'standing back' mentally I maintained an ability to see these few atoms 
as my corporeal self in the same way that looking at a newspaper 
photograph carries the illusion of an image only when viewed from the 
proper distance; on closer examination the photograph turns into more 
and more meaningless blobs of randomly scattered ink. At the same time, 
I felt I was standing at the brink of another volcano that consisted of 
a stream of 'lava' ascending upward directly in front of my face; the 
heat, light, and force of which surpassed any ability to describe. As I 
teetered, I would briefly rock forward into this other lava stream. 
When I did so, the few atoms that made up my 'structure' would vanish 
as they entered the stream. This is the point at which I would audibly 
scream (scaring my wife next to me in bed) and mentally would withdraw. 
This other stream was intensely attractive and terrorizing 
simultaneously. I was alternately attracted (would 'lean' into it) and 
terrorized (would pull back screaming) by it repeatedly.

This stream is the ULTIMATE goal - I (k)now that I am not ready for it 
by a gazillion lightyears, but happily remember just having the 
privilege of being shown it. The atoms, I see (k)learly now (sounds 
like lyrics, right ;-) were, are, and will be until the (k)ompletion of 
my journey: ego, mihi, I, and me. The terror I felt was the desparate 
clinging I was doing to existence or rather the illusion of it.

Your thoughts (and lots of you have them, I can almost hear the 
vertabrae rattling as heads are nodding violently, yep, uh-huh, been 
there, done that) are most welcome. I DO understand that this is MY 
interpretation, based on where I am now.

Dan

You may be sorry to have invited my participation - I am a writer by 
trade (grammar and spell-checking go out the window when I am doing 
informal communication) and get verborrhea when I am piqued - and BOY, 
am I pi(k)ued!


Date: Sun, 11 Aug 
From: stampmanATNOSPAMix.netcom.com (Daniel Rusch-Fischer )
Subject: spaciness

Just how dangerous is the k-thing? Someone wrote me that they have been 
'spacey' for quite a long time - walking on sidewalk feels like soft 
spongy ground, etc. I didn't realize it, but my driving has become far 
less attentive than it used to be - my wife says she was always VERY 
comfortable driving with me until the k-thing. Now she says, I wander 
around on the road, pull up short behind other cars, stop and start 
suddenly, etc.

Now that I have payed close attention to my 'headset' I have to agree. 
I am indeed spacey. (This is really just desserts as I used to always 
accuse my wife of being unconcious and now I am doing the same thing.) 
Any suggestions for narrowing my focus to the REAL world - haven't had 
an accident yet or anything, but it is a concern.

Dan


Date: Sun, 11 Aug 
From: stampmanATNOSPAMix.netcom.com (Daniel Rusch-Fischer )
Subject: k and sex

I am posting this separately in the hopes of engendering a private 
dialogue. I KNOW that ones sexuality can be profoundly affected by the 
k. I also know that for some it is taboo, disconcerting, unimportant, 
etc. So, if any of the above apply, please pass this missive over.

Without going into details, I have found in a short two months that my 
sex and social life are becoming veritable steam engines that are 
taking me (and my wife) places that we never dreamed we would go. We 
never even dreamed that they existed. We are simple folk from the 
midwest who have enjoyed flower, herb and vegetable gardening. We have 
never had more than 2 couples as close friends in 20 years of marriage. 
Our social life has been: a movie and a visit to Pizza Hut on the 
weekend, maybe a Masonic Lodge dinner, or a short trip to visit family 
members.

In the past two months, we have become the confidants and friends of 
gays, bisexuals, swingers, sadomasochists, professional dominatrixes, 
transvestites, transsexuals, transgenders, etc., and even more etc. Our 
personal sex life has skyrocketed to teenage honeymoon levels. We are 
invited to exclusive social events that 'well-placed' people that we 
know aren't even aware exist. AND our completely faithful, completely 
monogamous marriage is on a more ROCK-SOLID foundation than it ever has 
been. The shocker for us has been that this Transformation (that really 
is an appropriate word) seems totally natural, exactly fitting and 
right, and feels oddly predestined. My perception is that this is 
happening for a number of reasons (I always look for a duality to 
something with a hidden binding tertiary component). Repeatedly, these 
people have come to us and thanked us for bringing 'positive energy' 
into their lives - it is not something that we consciously do, but the 
same two words are used over and over again. Is is possible that we do 
good simply by being - nonjudgmentally, supportively, and positively? I 
still have a twinge of conscience that says I shouldn't associate with 
these 'evil' sinner types - that maybe I am being led 'astray'. Then, I 
look at the result of my 'wayward' actions and see only positive 
results - it is hard to feel you are doing bad when your actions 
produce good. Also, my wife and I have shed a lifetime of prejudices 
and biases that have done nothing for us except restrict and bind us 
<(that is a scream [that is a giggle]) inside joke!>.

Everyone talks about tingling sensations, psychic experiences, etc. Has 
anyone had similar experiences to the above - please be forthright and 
so will I. The above is a stroll-in-the-park compared to the actual 
details - there is no need to offend sensibilities, though. Private 
chat/email is best - right?

Dan


Date: Sun, 11 Aug
From: tejkohliATNOSPAMgiasdl01.vsnl.net.in
Subject: Neat way to crucify kundalini

Hi Snow bird!

        Thanks for your message. What you expressed is - right on! Actually I
do not feel sorry for expressing it so much as I actually feel sorry, or 
rather sympathise, with those who feel the need to look for some master or 
guru. And especially so if the kundalini switch is ON.   

        Which guru or master etc. can be better for one than the K itself, 
the core of the cosmos. Which guru or master can have more to power to 
help and guide? Who actually controls the destiny? I feel it is pure,
un-adulterated foolishness to bow down to, or touch the feet of, etc. etc.
of another when the pure resplendent energy is inside us. If we feel like
doing those things, we should do to the one inside us!

        Getting into the trap of gurus or masters can also impede our
progress in the K path. Every guru or master has his or her own opinions
about life and its values, depending upon their upbringing and their 
societal values. These may not be in consonance with how the K energy
wants to express in oneself, so by imbibing these values or thoughts
one can further impede K's progress, which has a 'tough' time as it is in
making us free from the conditioning.

Peace and Love,
Tej

----
>From SnowbirdVATNOSPAMgnn.comSun Aug 11
>Don't be sorry!!! Makes you feel free, doesn't it?




Date: Sun, 11 Aug
From: tejkohliATNOSPAMgiasdl01.vsnl.net.in
Subject: Neat way to crucify kundalini

Patti:
	I like the way that you have described it in your recent post. 
Its excellent. I would like to add that even when we have to learn from 
someone who has experienced more etc., it should be done in the way of a 
friend, and as much as possible without showing it, much as is done here 
on the list. That seems to be the only right and light way.

Tej


Date: Sun, 11 Aug 
From: netzachATNOSPAMidirect.com
Subject: love

hello everyone

overflowing love, emotional clarity, deep love of the self; giving and
recieving.

the giving of love happens effortlessly. that which continually flows into
us from the boundless abundance of the universe radiates outward again by
itself, if we remain open and receptive. you can compare it with the
flower which exudes its fragrance whether someone comes close to its
perfume or not.
 this giving is not dependent on individual, perhaps close peaple. there
is sooo much to share!!! all of existence can take part in it. becoming
one with the all embracing, omnipresent love is such a silent ecstasy, a
cosmic orgasm,

you are in contact with all-embracing love. it fills you and you can pass
it on generously, lavishly, to others!!!!

i love all
jada

-- 
-----------------------------------------------------------
netzachATNOSPAMidirect.com
-----------------------------------------------------------


Date: Sun, 11 Aug 
From: Richard Satin <>
Subject: Kundalini Transformation (Re: Daniel Rusch-Fischer's posts)


Dear Dan,

I very much appreciated your posts; and hope that other list members will
feel free to continue these discussions on-line.

Kundalini has for me also completely transformed my sexuality as well as
most other aspects of my life.  I can best describe it by using a quote from
Sallie Nichols Jung and Tarot.  She is describing the same path we refer to
as Kundalini, in terms of the archetypes.  This is an excellent, intuitive
book, which is filled with varied insights.  The publication info is at the
bottom.  It is available from http://www.amazon.com; and soon from the
kundalini book shop (http://www.execpc.com/~libra/bookshop/).  Here is what
she says:

(the quote is a bit long...but worth reading, IMO)

"...One becomes increasingly able to respond to life in an individual way. 
As we have seen, the behaviour of those with little awareness of the
archetypes is predetermined by unseen forces.  It is almost as rigidly
programmed as the instinctual behaviour of the birds and bees who always
react to certain stimuli in a preordained way, so that mating, nest building
, migration, and so forth, are carried on in identical patters throughout
the generations.  But when a human being has achieved some degree of self-
awareness, he is able to make choices that are different from those of the
flock and to express himself in ways that are uniquely his own.  Having
contact with HIS OWN TRUE SELF (emphasis added) he will no longer be prey to
the chatter of other selves, inner and outer.  What "they" are doing and
saying will have less influence upon his life.  He will be able to examine
current social customs and ideas and adopt them or not as he chooses.  He
will be free to act in ways that fulfill his deepest needs and express his
truest self.

(This next really describes what I have experienced, and it sounds like Dan
perhaps as well.)

"It is important to note here that as a person gains the independence to be
a nonconformist, he also gains the self-assurance to be a conformist.  As
Jung has often stressed, an *individuated* person is not the same as someone
who is *individualistic*.  He is not driven to conform to custom, but he is
equally not driven to defy it.  He does not try to set himself apart from
his peers by affecting peculiar dress or by exhibiting outlandish behaviour.
 On the contrary, because he so truly experiences himself as a unique
expression of the godhead, he is under no compulsion to prove it.

"Whenever we meet such a person, he is usually indistinguishable at first
glance from others in the group.  His overt behaviour and dress may be in no
way remarkable.  He may be actively engaged in conversation, or he may be
relatively quiet; but almost instantly *some indefinable quality* (emphasis
added) in his way of being may attract us to him.  It is as if everything
about him--his clothes, his gestures, his way of sitting or standing--
belongs to him.  Nothing about him is superimposed.  Everything he says or
does appears to arise from his deepest center, so that even his most
ordinary remark shines forth with new meaning.  If he is silent, his silence
, too, seems to belong.  It is a comfortable silence both for him and for us
.  Often such a person in silence will seem more present and active than
those who are participating in more overt ways.  *Because he is in contact
with his deepest self, our deep self responds, so that sitting in silence
with this kind of human being can open up new vistas of awareness*.  
(emphasis added)

Taken from, Nichols, Sallie, Jung and Tarot: An Archetypal Journey.  Samuel
Weiser, Inc, 1980, p18ff

-Richard



--
libraATNOSPAMexecpc.com     http://www.execpc.com/~libra/
............................................................................
By working hard 8 hours a day you may get to be
the boss and work 12 hours a day. 


Date: Sun, 11 Aug 
From: wnrcATNOSPAMfrognet.net (W.N.R.C.)
Subject: Unidentified subject!

I am new to computing & kudalini yoga.  I have been trying to get
myself on your bulletin board for, literally 3 hours.
   If by some mirical  this reachs you I want to subscribe.
   My e-mail address is :bruffner ATNOSPAM koyote.com.


>I am new to computing & kudalini yoga.  I have been trying to get
>myself on your bulletin board for, literally 3 hours.
>   If by some mirical  this reachs you I want to subscribe.
>   My e-mail address is :bruffner ATNOSPAM koyote.com.

Welcome, Boyd!
        My  name is Judith and I was just fortunate enough to find this BBS
last week!
        While some of the threads don't relate to me and my experience (I
just may not be as aware as I NEED to be - I attempt always to be on the
lookout for my usage of the words, "should" and "never"), I am grateful
that I now have the opportunity to became knowledgeable of the OTHER(S).
        Let me bore, er, TELL, you about myself...
        I'm a mother of five (5!) and I "believe" that my decision to not
bear any more children may have been for ALL concerned. Although, I have
seen so many infants just this past week, I NEED to restrain myself
sometimes because I daydream about having yet another!  I know I am one of
the most fortunate, having been given the privilege, not only of belonging
to a large family; but also meeting my husband, who is the most unique,
gifted and talented person (besides myself, OF course!) I have ever met or
remember meeting!
        Mark, my hubby, is an existentialist by way pf Phenomonolgy. (Don't
ask!) His philosophy is as valid as is my own eclectic way of
thinking/living. Hoever, we are both guilty of impatience with others who
come into our path. I'm still working on that!
Patience is truly a virtue and I trust I will learn it this time around, if
it turns out to be the ONLY thing I learn!
        Anyway, Mark  and I live in Athens, OH with four of our "heathens".
Our oldest, Tania Maria, is a union organizer for the AFL-CIO Organizing
institute. Mark is jealous!
(hehehe) I must admit I was enviou as well when I realized the freedom and
monetary compensation she was given until I realized, "So what, if my
23-year-old daughter makes more money that I; so what if she gets to travel
throughout the US. I needed to remind myself of how happy I was just where
I was.  (I am 40 years old with only two (ATNOSPAM) years of college and I make
less than 27K) Greed, perhaps I need to work on that as well!
        Enough about me! Tell me a little about yourself.
        If you haven't figured it out already, I DO have a genuine
curiosity about others and I usually, if not always converse or write with
a light wit. I feel so good when I'm made another human being smail,
chuckle or even laugh! It helps distract us all for a moment to, perhaps,
lead us to the final conclusion that:
1-everything is as it needs to be
2-With love, there are no barriers
3-Physical Death is but a temporal phase
4-We are always in the presence of goodness.
5-We are always in the presence of negative forces or entities, however,
this, too,  will teach us, help us grow and has the wonderful possibility
of making us stronger and more loving.
6-Remember to accept others so that they can, at least, put up with our
nonsense and faults.
7-Living in mindfulness is so cool and so very practical!
 I'm sure
        I'm sure I can continue to add to this list but it is 9:28 Eastern
Saturday and the fresh-baked, sugar-laden  cinnamon are calling to me!
Peace to you, yours and all, -Judith


mw smedley


Date: Sun, 11 Aug 
From: Denise Clausen <>
Subject: A Pretty Big Sperm Indeed!

Hi,everyone,
My name is Denise Clausen,I have been with the list for about 2 months.Let me
tell you what happened to me when Kundalini attacked! I was sitting in my bed
reading a myth book about Hercules 12 labors.It should be Hercules 13 Labors
because when I got to the 12th labor I suddenly heard something comming down
the wall into my trailer, thru the walls it came with a like clanging noise
almost metalic! I sensed this thing above me now and I looked up and to my
right. Above me over my right shoulder, I saw it, acually saw it and it was
looking at me as if to be saying , Yes this is the one alright, I have found
her. This thing I was looking at that was looking at me, had no physical eyes.
This thing who I now believe was Kundalini, was resembling a giant sperm, no
lie,.His head however was twice the size of mine,a pretty big sperm indeed! He
looked at me with knowing, the kind of knowing that left me in awe, with my
mouth hanging open. He knew everything about life! Suddenly, while looking at
him like a lamey, Im sure, he suddenly dived down into my head. It felt like an
explosion, I was literally thrown out of my bed,onto the floor of my trailer!
When I stood up I felt the need to cry uncontrollably because I was in mourning.
I was mourning my own death, I thought. I remember this feeling that I had been
lied to buy the Gods,but this thought seemed to be of another distant past
before time had started.That the Gods had lied to all of us and that we were
not alive but dead, that we all were really on the other side! And me,
believing that the ones on the other side were dead, when all along it was this
side who had died. This vision that I was having was quite profound, I still do
not believe that I have grasped the true meaning of it yet, 8 years later!
After I stopped crying, finally, I looked around. To my amazement, I noticed
that everything including the air , in fact, the whole universe was moving in
reverse! I do not know how I percieved this, although I know that I was
actually true, that somehow I had landed into an alternate universe that was
identical to ours but was somehow motioning in reverse of ours.Latter, when I
was looking thru a Tarot book, about a year later to be exact, I found a
paragrah in the book, on THE TOWER., Tarot, The Tower, Hebrew alphabet
number,16, named Ayin! This was very much discribed as the experience I had
with Kundalini, the giant sperm!
                  Thanks for listening,
                    Denise Clausen