Date: Thu, 8 Aug kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 96 : Issue 81 

From: GgjiATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: Wondering! The dream about your daughter being blind

Her dream is likely referring to the knowing that comes from intution and not
from sight. When we are receiving from inner sight it may appear to her that
her human eyes are blind. They are blind when it comes to going beyond the
illusion. It is really a positive dream if she doesn't take it literally.
Gloria


Date: Thu, 8 Aug 
From: mxoATNOSPAMpyrite.som.cwru.edu (Maimu Alber)
Subject: Re: Yes, I know its about sex again or kind of.

Hi all,

Before I address George's concerns, I'd like to say that I'm new to this
list, and don't really have much in the way of introduction.  I'm not even
sure what you mean by "awakenig of kundalini" which you all have seemed to
mention since I've been lurking.  I see a lot of posts refer to it, but I
have yet to read of anyone having some event happen where they've said,
"Aha!  That's my kundalini...the darn things finally awoken!"  I mean, so
many of you make it sound like you know what's happening...and frankly, I
don't.  All I know is that something's going on, and it's spiritual and a
large  part of it is becoming awrae of the energy connection inside of me.

I have had a spiritual awakening over the past couple of years that has put
me onto a path of new meaning.   It has manifested itself by dreams, much
synchronicity in terms of people being put into my path who I desperately
have needed to be there, complete emotional deconstruction and destruction
of my former God beliefs, my mind and heart opening up to new things, my
willingness to be able to accept things that were previously unacceptable,
my life and lifestyle changing through my conscious and unconscious choices,
and many more chances on different levels of my being.  

I have begun energy work and healing of many things that block me, and am
looking more and more for like-minded people to share with and get support
from, as I have had to change many friends in the process.  I stick with
supportive people.  That's why I'm on this list, to find out if there are
supportive people here.

At 08:41 PM 8/5/96 -0700, georgev wrote:
>What to do with lust. The buddhists say or I gather it is: "just notice
>it." I did this. I couldn't get the the area of changing the lust into
>love although I know how to do that too. When I am horny I just want to
>have sex yet I also notice that the "just want to have sex" might cause
>more suffering then the momentary sexual bliss.

If you are talking about suffering to someone else, then go solo.  However,
Over the past couple of years I have had experiences that have brought me to
the realization some things  are keeping me distracted  and from fulfilling
my spiritual potential.  It is a commitment to the fulfillment  of this
potential which has brought about some choices in my life.

One of those commitments was made only recently, that of celibacy....and I
don't mean just sex acts with others...I mean thoughts, fantasies and all of
it.  I believe that I can control all of it but the emotionis, and I'm
working on that as well, to minimize the control they have over me.   It's
all connected with sexual and spiritual healing and learning discipline,
which I have absolutely none to speak of.  Oh, I'm not very active sexually
anyway, but it sure seems to hit me hard when it does.  Over this past
weekend I met someone with whom I connected all the way across the room...it
was strong, I'm telling you.  And I know it was mutual, because later he
came over and sat by me and we chatted a bit.  I mean you could almost cut
the sexual tension with a knife.  Had this been different circumstances than
the formal meeting we were at, we would have been at each other in a minute.

It was some powerful stuff.  On my way home (an 8 hour drive) I had plenty
of time to think about it. I found myself wondering when I'd see him again,
if I'd hear from him (we had exchanged info)...I'm pretty sure he's married,
but I was already thinking maybe he's poly and I could justify an affair
with him...etc., etc....and the fantasies just really started going.  I mean
I was getting sexually excited just thinking about it...and I can do a
number on myself with that stuff.  

And then it hit me.

I was doing it again.  It felt so familiar, like I've been here so many
times.  It's the he thing I do to myself so often that messes me up and
detracts me from my goals.  And I started doing some real examination of
myself on my way home, and went through my history in my head about a lot of
my sexual stuff since I was a kid.  And in the end, I realized that it
wasn't a sexual thing at all...but something that I still carry over into
sexualtiy, and that is the "looking for love" thing.  I remember distinctly
ending up on the streets as a kid, when all I wanted was someone to hold me,
thinking I could get it from men.  I was never held at home, I was never
told I was loved, always criticized, beaten.  This never happened when I was
involved with anyone sexually, but the opposite was true.  And I came to
realize that sex is a really powerdful emotional thing for me...an emotional
*need*...that when it comes to sex, I take emotional hostages trying to get
what I want...and I'm so desperate to get it, that I lose sight of it all.
I've often wondered why I have a hard time with sex physically...and I
beleive this has something to do with it...that sex isn't a balanced
physical/emotional thing for me...it's all emotional...and I'm so busy with
the love part of it, that the sex part of it gets buried and shut out.  I
have still not, over all these years, reconciled the two.

Man...it was one revelation, I'll tellya.  And I didn't know what to do
about it, because these feelings were still so strong for that
individual....and I thought some more....about how we connect with some
people and don't with others in that way...and I've heard it called
"chemistry" and "lust" and all that stuff...and I thought about how it's an
energy thing...how I felt their energy from across the room...you know our
spiritual auras extend 25 feet out in radius, right?....and I thought of it
as a spiritual connection...and you know the funny thing?...the more I put
spiritual and energic terms onto it, the better I became able to distance
myself from it...and the pull wasn't so great...and the understanding became
better...and I recognized that while I felt  his  energy coming at me, that
my own kundalini energy was doing a number on me as a result...

And I also realized that this is the way it's supposed to be...and it is
healthy..and there is nothing wrong with it..but what is wrong with it is
that I cannot recognize it for what it is....I see it as a door that opens
to be able to lose myself in *love*.....that my need to get lost in that it
has to be acted on...that I have to do everything I can to satisfy it, this
fundamental need I have....when all it is is energy flowing...and in the
past I've always gone for it...and often made a mess of things... my two
marriages were based on acting on that...there were many years I wasted
there....

Well, it's too late to make it short, but I guess where I'm at, is that
through all that, I not only came to an understanding of what's going on,
but as a result, I also lost the *need* to act on it...even lost the desire
to fantasize on it...because how does one turn the knowledge that it's
merely the natural flow of energy into a fantasy?  I couldn't do
it....because this put the responsibility entirely on me....that the other
person was not responsible or a "co-conspirator" in this feeling...it was
mine alone to do with what I needed to.  And by recognizing that, I also
recognized that such feelings *can* be controlled...like my therapist tells
me...and that by gaining a solid spiritual perspective, I could control it,
not act on it, and actually grow from it....

So, I decided that since I had control over it, and could thereby actually
see it for what it was, that I also saw how much of my life is distracted by
it...time taken up by it...how I abuse myself with it...how I don't take
care of my body...my mind...my spirit because of it...

And I figured that it was one of the areas of discipline that I need to
greatly work on...and so I decided on the celibacy....this way, when those
feelings come up, rather than just give in as I have so often, I will
actually have to make an effort each and every time to see it for what it
is,  energy, and take proper steps to grow spritually rather than give in to
carnal cravings which I see in some other twisted emotional terms.....which
has done nothing but cause trouble for me all my life....

In any case...that's where I'm at.  I feel like I took a giant leap in some
areas of my healing...sexual and spiritual..

And in just the last few days, I have already felt a freedom I haven't known
before....I don't have to think about my next fling or romance, but can
concentrate on my meditation, my goals, my healing process...I don't have to
think that when I meet someone, how they are in bed, or whether or not I'm
attracted to them, because it simply doesn't matter for another year...so
why even start the mental gyrations over it?.....

Then again, the last week hasn't been long enough for me to really feel too
horny yet, so let's see what happens when I do...I figure it will be the
real test of my discipline...  :-)
>
>As for other emotions I am learning to just note all of them. I have
>felt that if I try to push away enotions that I felt were "wrong" that
>they would just come back when I least expected them. 

There is no such thing as wrong emotions.  Emotions just *are*.  You are
right when you say that pushing them away brings them back.  In some
circles, that's called "repression" and in all circles it is unhealthy.

Keeping myself
>noticing and up with the idea of right action opened my Kundalini
>before. I was aware to notice my choices and pick the ones that create
>the less or no suffering to myself or another.

Sounds more like a determination whether to live in the higher or lower self.  

>I also not my awareness from my meditation. I must note everything as
>it is so that I do not become clinging to the illustions that are. 

 I got my hands on this really good tape for meditation.  It's a Taoist
Healing Imagery tape by Ken Cohen, and addresses correct posture, breating,
attunment to nature, mental states, and flow of energy.  I particularly like
the first side of the tape, which is on Tan Tien Breathing, which stimulates
the internal energy reservoir, and Three Tan Tiens, which is contemplation
of energy centers, parallel to the hara, heart, and third-eye charkas.  The
goal is to line them up in balance through visualization and breathing, so
that the end result is alignment of the three Tan Tiens, which brings a
balance of sexual energy, breath, and spirit.

Maimu




----------------------------------------------------------------------
    When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather......
     Not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car did.


Date: Thu, 8 Aug
From: mxoATNOSPAMpyrite.som.cwru.edu (Maimu Alber)
Subject: Re: Yes, I know its about sex again or kind of.

Hi all,

Before I address George's concerns, I'd like to say that I'm new to this
list, and don't really have much in the way of introduction.  I'm not even
sure what you mean by "awakenig of kundalini" which you all have seemed to
mention since I've been lurking.  I see a lot of posts refer to it, but I
have yet to read of anyone having some event happen where they've said,
"Aha!  That's my kundalini...the darn things finally awoken!"  I mean, so
many of you make it sound like you know what's happening...and frankly, I
don't.  All I know is that something's going on, and it's spiritual and a
large  part of it is becoming awrae of the energy connection inside of me.

I have had a spiritual awakening over the past couple of years that has put
me onto a path of new meaning.   It has manifested itself by dreams, much
synchronicity in terms of people being put into my path who I desperately
have needed to be there, complete emotional deconstruction and destruction
of my former God beliefs, my mind and heart opening up to new things, my
willingness to be able to accept things that were previously unacceptable,
my life and lifestyle changing through my conscious and unconscious choices,
and many more chances on different levels of my being.  

I have begun energy work and healing of many things that block me, and am
looking more and more for like-minded people to share with and get support
from, as I have had to change many friends in the process.  I stick with
supportive people.  That's why I'm on this list, to find out if there are
supportive people here.

At 08:41 PM 8/5/96 -0700, georgev wrote:
>What to do with lust. The buddhists say or I gather it is: "just notice
>it." I did this. I couldn't get the the area of changing the lust into
>love although I know how to do that too. When I am horny I just want to
>have sex yet I also notice that the "just want to have sex" might cause
>more suffering then the momentary sexual bliss.

If you are talking about suffering to someone else, then go solo.  However,
Over the past couple of years I have had experiences that have brought me to
the realization some things  are keeping me distracted  and from fulfilling
my spiritual potential.  It is a commitment to the fulfillment  of this
potential which has brought about some choices in my life.

One of those commitments was made only recently, that of celibacy....and I
don't mean just sex acts with others...I mean thoughts, fantasies and all of
it.  I believe that I can control all of it but the emotionis, and I'm
working on that as well, to minimize the control they have over me.   It's
all connected with sexual and spiritual healing and learning discipline,
which I have absolutely none to speak of.  Oh, I'm not very active sexually
anyway, but it sure seems to hit me hard when it does.  Over this past
weekend I met someone with whom I connected all the way across the room...it
was strong, I'm telling you.  And I know it was mutual, because later he
came over and sat by me and we chatted a bit.  I mean you could almost cut
the sexual tension with a knife.  Had this been different circumstances than
the formal meeting we were at, we would have been at each other in a minute.

It was some powerful stuff.  On my way home (an 8 hour drive) I had plenty
of time to think about it. I found myself wondering when I'd see him again,
if I'd hear from him (we had exchanged info)...I'm pretty sure he's married,
but I was already thinking maybe he's poly and I could justify an affair
with him...etc., etc....and the fantasies just really started going.  I mean
I was getting sexually excited just thinking about it...and I can do a
number on myself with that stuff.  

And then it hit me.

I was doing it again.  It felt so familiar, like I've been here so many
times.  It's the he thing I do to myself so often that messes me up and
detracts me from my goals.  And I started doing some real examination of
myself on my way home, and went through my history in my head about a lot of
my sexual stuff since I was a kid.  And in the end, I realized that it
wasn't a sexual thing at all...but something that I still carry over into
sexualtiy, and that is the "looking for love" thing.  I remember distinctly
ending up on the streets as a kid, when all I wanted was someone to hold me,
thinking I could get it from men.  I was never held at home, I was never
told I was loved, always criticized, beaten.  This never happened when I was
involved with anyone sexually, but the opposite was true.  And I came to
realize that sex is a really powerdful emotional thing for me...an emotional
*need*...that when it comes to sex, I take emotional hostages trying to get
what I want...and I'm so desperate to get it, that I lose sight of it all.
I've often wondered why I have a hard time with sex physically...and I
beleive this has something to do with it...that sex isn't a balanced
physical/emotional thing for me...it's all emotional...and I'm so busy with
the love part of it, that the sex part of it gets buried and shut out.  I
have still not, over all these years, reconciled the two.

Man...it was one revelation, I'll tellya.  And I didn't know what to do
about it, because these feelings were still so strong for that
individual....and I thought some more....about how we connect with some
people and don't with others in that way...and I've heard it called
"chemistry" and "lust" and all that stuff...and I thought about how it's an
energy thing...how I felt their energy from across the room...you know our
spiritual auras extend 25 feet out in radius, right?....and I thought of it
as a spiritual connection...and you know the funny thing?...the more I put
spiritual and energic terms onto it, the better I became able to distance
myself from it...and the pull wasn't so great...and the understanding became
better...and I recognized that while I felt  his  energy coming at me, that
my own kundalini energy was doing a number on me as a result...

And I also realized that this is the way it's supposed to be...and it is
healthy..and there is nothing wrong with it..but what is wrong with it is
that I cannot recognize it for what it is....I see it as a door that opens
to be able to lose myself in *love*.....that my need to get lost in that it
has to be acted on...that I have to do everything I can to satisfy it, this
fundamental need I have....when all it is is energy flowing...and in the
past I've always gone for it...and often made a mess of things... my two
marriages were based on acting on that...there were many years I wasted
there....

Well, it's too late to make it short, but I guess where I'm at, is that
through all that, I not only came to an understanding of what's going on,
but as a result, I also lost the *need* to act on it...even lost the desire
to fantasize on it...because how does one turn the knowledge that it's
merely the natural flow of energy into a fantasy?  I couldn't do
it....because this put the responsibility entirely on me....that the other
person was not responsible or a "co-conspirator" in this feeling...it was
mine alone to do with what I needed to.  And by recognizing that, I also
recognized that such feelings *can* be controlled...like my therapist tells
me...and that by gaining a solid spiritual perspective, I could control it,
not act on it, and actually grow from it....

So, I decided that since I had control over it, and could thereby actually
see it for what it was, that I also saw how much of my life is distracted by
it...time taken up by it...how I abuse myself with it...how I don't take
care of my body...my mind...my spirit because of it...

And I figured that it was one of the areas of discipline that I need to
greatly work on...and so I decided on the celibacy....this way, when those
feelings come up, rather than just give in as I have so often, I will
actually have to make an effort each and every time to see it for what it
is,  energy, and take proper steps to grow spritually rather than give in to
carnal cravings which I see in some other twisted emotional terms.....which
has done nothing but cause trouble for me all my life....

In any case...that's where I'm at.  I feel like I took a giant leap in some
areas of my healing...sexual and spiritual..

And in just the last few days, I have already felt a freedom I haven't known
before....I don't have to think about my next fling or romance, but can
concentrate on my meditation, my goals, my healing process...I don't have to
think that when I meet someone, how they are in bed, or whether or not I'm
attracted to them, because it simply doesn't matter for another year...so
why even start the mental gyrations over it?.....

Then again, the last week hasn't been long enough for me to really feel too
horny yet, so let's see what happens when I do...I figure it will be the
real test of my discipline...  :-)
>
>As for other emotions I am learning to just note all of them. I have
>felt that if I try to push away enotions that I felt were "wrong" that
>they would just come back when I least expected them. 

There is no such thing as wrong emotions.  Emotions just *are*.  You are
right when you say that pushing them away brings them back.  In some
circles, that's called "repression" and in all circles it is unhealthy.

Keeping myself
>noticing and up with the idea of right action opened my Kundalini
>before. I was aware to notice my choices and pick the ones that create
>the less or no suffering to myself or another.

Sounds more like a determination whether to live in the higher or lower self.  

>I also not my awareness from my meditation. I must note everything as
>it is so that I do not become clinging to the illustions that are. 

 I got my hands on this really good tape for meditation.  It's a Taoist
Healing Imagery tape by Ken Cohen, and addresses correct posture, breating,
attunment to nature, mental states, and flow of energy.  I particularly like
the first side of the tape, which is on Tan Tien Breathing, which stimulates
the internal energy reservoir, and Three Tan Tiens, which is contemplation
of energy centers, parallel to the hara, heart, and third-eye charkas.  The
goal is to line them up in balance through visualization and breathing, so
that the end result is alignment of the three Tan Tiens, which brings a
balance of sexual energy, breath, and spirit.

Maimu




----------------------------------------------------------------------
    When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather......
     Not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car did.


Date: Thu, 8 Aug 
From: SYL228ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: General

Hi everyone:

My service was down yesterday, so some of these comments are a little late.

Von:  What about those who do not like coffee?  They must really be in a
pickle!

Karol Anne, Omar:

A master is like one who is at the hub of the wheel, he can see all paths
(which represent the spokes of the wheel).  To him all paths are of equal
worth to be used or discarded as the person sees fit.  All of them lead to
the hub. 

One who is on a spoke of the wheel, however, can only see his own spoke, and
perhaps a glimmer of those on either side of him.  So he is totally confused
when a spoke from the other side of the wheel is mentioned.  He cannot even
see it, let alone understand it.

The point is we need to understand that the wheel would collapse if it lost
too many of its spokes. All are necessary to make the wheel work.

Royale:

For a few weeks before "K", I had energy running between the crown, 3rd eye,
and alta major (base of skull) chakras. When the full blown "K" rose , it
happened in the small hours of the morning, and started in the crown of my
head.  It felt as if someone had touched an electric flame to my crown chakra
 Then the "K" rushed up my spine and the energy also rushed down from the
crown. They met and flooded the whole body.
There were definetly 2 kinds of energies involved, the head  energy and the
base energy.

Snowbird:

I agree generally about the interpretation of your daughter's dream.  I did
want to add one thing though.  Ireland is a very ancient land, and the
energies are different.  The ancient people of Ireland were reputed to be the
Tuatha de Danaan, who were enlightened masters who came to earth, at the
beginning of time to help get the "earth project" for want of better
description off to a good start.  For them, to come into these bodies was
blindness, because they had to give up the light of spirit in order to come
into this density.  She may have been at a power point in Ireland where their
energies are still accessible. The legend goes, that when they could no
longer have an effect, because the people had become too warlike, they
retreated into the hills and became the little people.i.e the fairies,
leprachauns etc of which Irish legend abounds.  Many Irish people claim to
see them to this day, and they aren't all drunk, (the Irish i mean, not the
fairies) So we must assume that those energies are still very very potent in
some parts of the country,

Love Jule


Date: Thu, 8 Aug 
From: reikiATNOSPAMbbs.pennet.com
Subject: hi michael

hi,
    like you i sorta got into "this" through martial arts.  i started
with an external only form of chinese kempo, and through the years
reformed the system by reintroducing chi kung, and movements and
principles from the internal arts.  also, about glenn morris, his books
are great.  i don't agree with everything he writes, but he is one heck
of a shocker.
for the others on the list, i would reccomend his book, path notes of an
americian ninja master.  even though it is now a kundalini book, it has
a lot of kundalini related matierial inside.
in closing, if you ever wish to email any questions or comments to me
directily that do not involve kundalini please feel free to do so.
john     reikiATNOSPAMhhs.net


Date: Thu, 8 Aug 
From: Wendy 
Subject: Good Morning

Good Morning one and all...

...for morning it is here for me, with all the 'awakenings' swirling around.

For those of you living in another 'time/zone' I'm sure you'll understand. 

I've been following the list for awhile now and have gleaned a great deal in
doing so.  Despite my nonpostings, I want all of you to know that your words
have helped, touched, warmed, excited, hurt (dredging up stuff that was
ready to be), HEALED me during this time in several ways.  I frequently
quote excerpts from many of your emails to friends walking beside me on the
way home.

This morning's mail from Maimu was not only extremely synchronistic in it's
timing, content and expression, for me.....but I felt it also represents and
encompasses much that has been discussed here regarding sexuality and k
since I've been a subscriber.  
To me, it quite simply and elegantly covered all the bases.  And is the
springboard to the next 'deeper' (for lack of better word) levels.

Thank you, Maimu, and welcome. 

The combined energies of everyone here are definitely transformative.  I can
even sense several 'out there' like myself who are reading, watching,
listening and absorbing.  I have even felt your presences at different
times.  I guess I'd describe this as feeling at One with you all.

An example....Richard...you come across so strongly to me, even though you
rarely write and even though we've never exchanged any personal writings of
any depth on the subject of k.

Community.

I wondered if any of you sense this as well....this wonderful group
connection, unspoken, as well as spoken of.

Love is so strongly present here...Bless you all,


Date: Thu, 8 Aug 
From: GgjiATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: Some personal info

Daniel,
Welcome to the list, we are a very happy to have your energy in put. Gloria


Date: Thu, 8 Aug 
From: mxoATNOSPAMpyrite.som.cwru.edu (Maimu Alber)
Subject: Re: Good Morning

At 10:37 AM 8/8/96 -0400, Wendy wrote:

>Good Morning one and all...

>This morning's mail from Maimu was not only extremely synchronistic in it's
>timing, content and expression, for me....

Sounds like everything that's been happening in my life as well.  Glad to be
able to pass it on.... :-)

>Thank you, Maimu, and welcome. 

Thank you for your warm welcome, Wendy.  I am new to the list, and
unfortunately will already have to unsub this afternoon as I am going on
vacation and don't want to upset the administrators with a full mailbox.  If
anyone wants to email me privately, please feel free to.  However, I won't
be responding for about a week.  (I'm going to New Mexico to spend time with
a close friend and healer...I am so looking foward to it!)

I look forward to sharing with and learning from all of you when I return.

Maimu


----------------------------------------------------------------------
    When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather......
     Not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car did.


Date: Thu, 8 Aug 
From: mxoATNOSPAMpyrite.som.cwru.edu (Maimu Alber)
Subject: RE: Good Morning

I belive Daniel meant to send this to the list....s'okay, Daniel.  Happens
to me all the time.  :-)

Maimu

>From: "Tal, Daniel" 
>To: "'mxoATNOSPAMpyrite.som.cwru.edu'" 
>
>
>
>Good Morning To All
>
>I have gotten the first e-mails as a new subscriber and to say the least
>I am overwhelmed  with Joy.
>
>and Thank you Gloria for welcoming me.
>
>May You All Have a Peaceful Day
>
>
>>Daniel
>
>
----------------------------------------------------------------------
    When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather......
     Not screaming and crying like the passengers in his car did.