To: K-list
Recieved: 1999/12/21 15:07
Subject: [K-list] Howard's and Michael's Cosmic Shootout, now that sound
From: winter mute

On Tue, 21 Dec 1999 16:20:02 MHortling wrote:

>Now, looking back on so many years that have included some (emotionally &
>physically) pretty nasty episodes that have caused me to literally cry
>bathtubs of tears and pound on brick walls out of sheer frustration, all this
>being clearly related to the awakening of kundalini, it just occurred to me,
>well maybe Howard has studied the traditions, maybe he's a brilliant
>hatha-yogi (it certainly seems so), but it doesn't SOUND as if he's gone
>through what many people experience once kundalini awakens .

Hmmm.... Michael... I don't know... I haven't
gone through many of the things ppl talk about
on this list either... but I would
say there is an active K.
And it's not like I'm a particularly harmonious
being.
But then again,
my childhood was relatively peaceful and
I never experienced sexual abuse like some
ppl.

There are so many experiences (as you say)
but it all makes me wonder why some ppl
do not experience so much painful stuff.
When I recognized k, I thought I was in for one
hell of a ride, physical pain, mental anguish
etc. But there has been close to none and I
have no idea why. Some ppl suggest it's because
the process hasn't gone very far, but I doubt
that. It's been a landslide of change.
So much so it's been overwhelming, too
many changes to keep up with...

Of course, we all come at it from different
backgrounds. Mine was to process a war that did
not even happen in this life and it was tougher
than anything that ever happened in this.
Phew.
Yet what I am left with now is the feeling that
this is / was my pain and stay out of it,
it's the only thing left. If I let go of it
all in one go, there will be nothing left to
feel. If I want to climb the walls, I'll do it,
(I have become
 quite an accomplished wall climber
this last year ;) )
if I want to cry I'll cry 'cause it's my
party.
So for kicks or something, I have now started
to process other ppl's pain, just so there can
be something felt...

>was like before she awoke, before the strange phenomena and the rollercoaster
>between bliss and purgatory began.

But isn't it that one is suppose to do, descend
into hell with both eyes open...
both the personal and interpersonal hell...
at least I enjoy it... some day I will do it for real... the nether realms....
I thought I was cut out for delog service...
I don't know...

;)) As someone once said in a tv series:
I do not worship the devil, the devil
worships me... ;))

>P.S One of the very best commentaries (my opinion) on the yoga-sutras, is
>written by an American, Roy E. Davis. (He used to be a disciple of
>Paramahansa Yogananda a long time ago) . The book is called "This is Reality"

Thanks for that recommendation, Michael.
It does sound like an interesting book,
always nice to read more commentaries to the
Patanjali Sutras.

If I have offended you, I deeply aplogize.
My intentions was just to share
some thoughts and views and wonderings.

Best regards,

Amanda.

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