Date: Sun, 18 Aug kundalini-l-d Digest Volume 96 : Issue 98
1
From: LwMema3ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: newly connected (I hope)
Anne,
I know that your initial post is not very recent, but I just returned from a
vacation and am still reading all the posts I have to catch up on. When I
read your words, I felt a strong need to respond to you. I am currently
working on getting my degree in Elementary Education, and alough I see myself
working with children in the future I have a hard time assemilating into the
'norm' of a 'typical' classroom setting. I feel that as an educator I want
to help children develop spiritually and I know that society is not ready for
me yet, but I truely hope that it will change in time. Basically, I just
wanted to say- that you are not alone. I know how that feels and it is very
difficult. I bwlieve you will make it through all the negativity and show
all the doubters out there that you are not crazy. If I can ever help you in
any way, just ask.
Sending you Light and Love,
Lori
LwMema3ATNOSPAMaol.com
2 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: "I.Juster"
Subject: Re: Void
Ori:
Your post was beuatifully stated.
Thanks,
Love, Patti
3 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: stampmanATNOSPAMix.netcom.com (Daniel Rusch-Fischer )
Subject: Sorry - Goodbye =-
My wife and I had just gotten back from the Behavioral Center and a
visit with our son who is there under a suicide watch - he has made 14
attempts in his 19 years of severe mental problems. I brought up my
email and read a posting that has caused me to leave the list.
Although, I don't usually go into it, these are the facts of my life -
I am sorry if it will fill up some people's email-boxes with too-large
of a post. After being abandoned by my mother at birth, I was adopted
by parents who abused me physically on a daily basis (often taking
turns with boards, belts, lengths of wire, etc., etc.) My wife of 20
years has had a heart-attack, has a pacemaker, is going blind from
retinopathy, has rapidly progressing neuropathy, and diabetes. I have
lost my job due to lay-offs 5 times in the past 7 years and as a result
have had to relocate my family to three different states and have moved
12 times. The foregoing is NOT to elicit sympathy for my adversities;
others have had FAR worse than these. Rather, it is to point out why
humor has been so important in helping me cope with the problems that
come up in day-to-day living. It has helped me through these challenges
and has helped me be strong for those that depend on me. I think that
may be why I have had that aspect of my personality expanded so
profoundly since my awakening two months ago - I have likened my
experience to being tickled on the soles of the feet by the cosmos. It
is apparent that, although I have not posted/emailed a single word
without a smile and good intentions attached, I am perceived by some as
being irreverent, silly, ungenuine, and even malicious. I regret that
more deeply that I can express - and feel that others may have the same
low opinion of me and my experience. And rather than risk to continue
offending, I bid all farewell - many of you have given me a sense of
validity that I will always cherish, thank you.
Leap and the net will appear.
Sometimes, though, it will be made of razor wire
and will cut you into pieces
that hurt so badly
that you will wonder
why you leapt in the first place.
Sorry - Goodbye =-
DAN
ps: To all those with whom I am currently dialoguing privately, please
be patient. Your concerns, problems, and questions are still of
importance to me. I WILL get back to you all - I just need a short
break now (I have been getting up at 2 am to have the time to respond
to everyone - but, right now I am not sure that I can do so for a
little while).
4 Date: Sat, 17 Aug
From: "Rondi McBoyer"
Subject: Ego
Hi Mark;
here is a thought, not origanal to me, in fact I may have read it here...oh
well,it's worth repeating in my present mood.
Enlightenment will cost you everythin you've got, so it is better to be
poor.
Dan: re Throat chakra...I really am not sure where all the reticence(sp)
comes from=)... Fun to think about tho....
The other night I was sitting outside watching the stars.... Waiting for
the door to open that is supposed to when so many close behind you... just
sitting there being quiet, And I heard my own voice say..." There are
plenty of signs you know"
I was quite surprised, and looked around to see if someone was there...no
one I could see was.
So, I think the throat chakra thing can work in many ways.
Gotta go.
always here,Rondi
5 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: "Rondi McBoyer"
Subject: Don't Go Dan
I wrote that last message yesterday, and couldn't send it right away
because there is a glitch in my mail server....I don't know what to say,
and I hope it wasn't something I said...Dan if you are still there, please
know that I am sending good thoughts and happy wishes and prayers your
way....let me know if I can help....nicnorATNOSPAMnh.ultranet.com
Love......Rondi
6 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: SYL228ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re the Void and the ego
Hi Everyone:
It seems we all have a little trouble describing these experiences. I see
the void as being the place of pure intent, it is beyond the ego.Whether you
experience it as a lonely place or not depends on what you think that pure
intent means. If you experience the intent of the universe as being pure
love, then the void as the place from which creation springs, is simply a
place of beauty in which we rest between creative acts. If however, you
experience the intent of the universe as being less that loving, then the
void can be a more difficult place to be.
The moment we leave the void and begin to create we have to become a self/ego
of some kind. We no longer are just an intent we are a creator, and as such
we have become something. It's a bit like those particles in quantum physics
that jump in and out of the void, and drive the physicists crazy. Every time
they appear they are a different kind of particle. It is something of that
kind, that I mean when I say that in the void, I can be whatever I want. When
I do appear I have changed my ego a little. I think it is resting in the
void, that helps me to work on and change myself.
I'm not sure that I agree with the Buddhist idea of death of the ego
entirely. As we work we become closer to being one with God. But surely
since God is a creator He must also in a sense have an ego of sorts.
Although I'm not sure ego is the appropriate word here! God presumably would
rest in the void but when He creates, He must become something in order to
create. So when we become one with God, it seems to me we swap our little
egos for a kind of collective ego that we call God at least during our
creative cycles that is. That collective ego is the sum of all our little
egos somehow melded together to make a comprehensive whole.
Von:
Liked your poem. but since God is the creator par excellence, if we are all
destined to become one with God, seems to me we won't have a lot of time to
lounge around the void, we'll still be creating but on a different scale
perhaps.
I hope this is as much fun to read as it was to write. I love to play around
with these things.
Love Jule
7 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: Wendy
Subject: Void
Hi ori^,
I really enjoyed reading your email about the void. I'm going to try to
find this cd tomorrow in hopes that it's available here (I live on an
island). It's been so helpful now to know that the then *BIG* VOID (which
always had such a scary, negative connotation when I was younger and
experienced it) is really 'nothing' - ('neutral'? again, words
fail)....but you covered it so well here!
Thanks, ori^,
Wendy
Leap and the net will appear.
http://www.tiac.net/users/wenders
___________________
Don't take advice, take a chance, roll the dice, learn to dance.
- David Wilcox
___________________
8 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: Mary Knapp
Subject: Re: Re the void
>Too me, the void is more like Osho says it, that place beyond the ego.
>
>
My second month meditating I was lifted out of my body and went, now I have
a word for it at last, to the void. It was spectacular, but seemingly
non-physical; certainly non-visual. I felt different and I looked different
after that experience. Ten years later I heard an author describe 10
characteristics of NDE people. I had them without the visions, etc. and
wondered why I was so like them and so different from them. After these
posts on the void, I begin to see. Thank you all.
9 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: Mary Knapp
Subject: Re: Throat Chakra
I am recently feeling that the throat is the bridge between the body and the
mind. Somehow this is a very powerful new insight for me. I was sort of
anti-body before K. Not real clear on why I post this, but to do so makes
me shake as I have not in days. Truth chills??
Mary
Denise Clausen wrote:
>Rondi McBoyer wrote:
>>
>> Here's a thought...I have a friend who has taught me lots on the K subject,
>> she says when she starts to tell me something I'm not ready for, her throat
>> closes up and she can't say anything,until she decides what she is allowed
>> to say.
>> Rondi
>
>
> I have been experiencing this for about 7 years. Im not sure if it is the
Kundalini
>force, Although I have been awakened for 8 years. I do believe my Kundalini
was
>activated about 8 years age but, I do not beleive that this closing of the
throat when
>speaking to others is Kundalini triggered. I am at a loss to define what
has been
>happening regarding this throat thing but I am leary of it.
> Yours Truly,
> Denise
>
>
>
10 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: Mary Knapp
Subject: Re: newly connected (I hope)
At 05:31 PM 8/18/96 -0400, LwMema3ATNOSPAMaol.com wrote:
> I am currently
>working on getting my degree in Elementary Education, and alough I see myself
>working with children in the future I have a hard time assemilating into the
>'norm' of a 'typical' classroom setting. I feel that as an educator I want
>to help children develop spiritually and I know that society is not ready for
>me yet, but I truely hope that it will change in time.
To be spirit while in the classroom accomplishes more than, or at least as
much as, specifically teaching spirituality. Teaching by being, teaching
by example, you know? Your love will shine through. Other teachers will
want to know your secret. They may not understand it or believe it, but....
This has been my experience.
Mary
11 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: Mark Rivera
Subject: Re: Ego
You're probably right, but in the end we lose everything anyway so there
is no ther way out, but to let go.
12 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: V487ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: Ego
Rondi
*>Enlightenment will cost you everythin you've got, so it is better to be
poor.
It's just like dieing on the cross and I even think that is the real meaning
of the cross, but how can you really make people understand? You can't
* Dan I hope you are reading this also . I wish that you could tell your
son that there is no death and there is no easy way out. With a physical
body or not a person will always be what they are in their mind. When one
takes their own life they will very soon find out that they are still fully
aware, but don't have a physical body to work through. You came on this list
for a reason so please re-think. You are missing a very important lesson!
Love,
Von
13 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: V487ATNOSPAMaol.com
Subject: Re: Ego
Hi: Mark
>You're probably right, but in the end we lose everything anyway so there
is no ther way out, but to let go.
------------------------------------------------------
****Please accept my humble opinion.***
How do you know that? You don't lose anything, but gain everything.
Nothing worthwhile is easy. As a writer you must know the meaning of
character. Without character no one will even read you books. You have to
pay your dues in life. You have to earn it and then you will develop
character.
What do you gain by giving up. You will have to do it in this life or
another life anyway. An easy life is a wasted life.
Love,
Von
14 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: Arlene Benjamin
Subject: Connections
Greetings One and All:
Mary, thank-you! Aren't connections wonderful?
Dan, I agree with Von. Please reconsider.
Mark, be willing to take a chance on yourself.
Blessings,
Namaste'...Arlene
Allow your mind to open and be inspired by Spirit*
Matthew 13:13
"Therefore speak I to them in parables: because
they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not,
neither do they understand."
15 Date: Sun, 18 Aug
From: Mary Knapp
Subject: Re: Jeff and Mary
Dear Arlene,
Thank you for asking. I have been away viewing trees as old as the planet.
Sequoias are amazing!
The young lady thanked me for the shielding and said she did not remember
being troubled by bad dreams!!!
Now I can draw several conclusions: (A) The shielding worked so well it
altered the past. (B) Like Jeff, I should be looking at the possibility
that my desire to help has a deeper motivation than I recognised before
addressing the worry here on this list.
I chose one from column A and one from column B and I thank you all for
helping me grow to new understandings. Bless you all.
Mary
At 07:55 PM 8/16/96 -0400, Arlene Benjamin wrote:
>Hi Jeff and Mary,
>
>Just thought I'd inquire about how things are going for you.
>Please keep us posted!!!
>Namaste'...Arlene
>Trust is more than a five letter word*
>Faith is Believing without Seeing*
>
>
>
16 Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Dan Gahlinger
Subject: white light
Well I don't know what it is, but I've always found white light rather
painful, the brighter, the worse the pain. And just pure white light, not
any other colour. of course, I'm the kind of person who gets "spiritual
sunburns" - these are if someone touches me on the shoulder (normally
shoulder area) I will have
a literal sunburn, and it will be painful and burning when they do this.
even someone tapping me on the shoulder or patting me on the back, you know
that sort of thing, can result in intense pain (on contact) and sunburn,
plus the occasional welting, etc. Handshakes can also cause me great pain.
I seem to have narrowed this down to part of my empathic ability, as with
everything except handshakes, only occurs with men, or if it's unexpected.
handshakes are painful regardless, unless i prepare myself first or it's
someone I know well. I usually avoid this kind of contact at all cost.
I've checked out medical causes, there aren't any. even wearing a tshirt,
shirt, sweater, and winter coat with liner, I'll still feel pain and get a
sunburn in the area of contact. It doesnt need to be "bare skin" or whatever.
Just thought I'd share something strange about myself with everyone, and
perhaps someone would have some bright ideas.
Dan.
Dan.
There are always possibilities...
17 Date: Mon, 19 Aug 1996
From: Dan Gahlinger
Subject: kundalini
Ok everyone, how's this, a message that's actually on-topic?
is it just me, or does everyone going through a kundalini suddenly get more
aware and sensitive to energy, and things around them, beyond, the world,
the universe, etc? I think my squelch is set a bit too low. :)
Recently I went skydiving (first time), it was a belated birthday present
from a friend who's an instructor, and he really didnt want to be there, at
the drop zone, but to me it was like his mind was screaming to get out of
there, I asked him about it, and he said, no, it was just minor. He's not
too terribly bad with energy so I'll take him at his word on this one. I've
moved away from him too (I explin this a bit better later), but he can no
longer sense my energy patterns, like I'm on a different vibrational rate or
something (more later).
Anyhow, it just shows I was a bit too high on the volume or sensitivity
settings. gads, I feel like i'm trying to tune this wacky stereo that didnt
come with any instructions (at least not in any understandable language I
know of).
It's been about three weeks now, and apart from weird food restrictions from
those I've consulted, I've had a cold, an inflamed gland in my throat, and
tonight ran a fever of 103 (although I'm ALWAYS inordinately hot - likely my
excessively high metabolism).
All of a sudden I'm feeling really strange too, worldly things are more
important, and my friends, family and job are no longer of any consequence,
it's like a chapter has been closed on my life, and I'm moving forward to
the next section.
And to top it all off, my eyes have changed color, literally. I think
they've settled since the k, but they were fluctuating a bit, (originally
deep chocolate brown, unmistakeable), one day they were blue, another day
green, one day yellow, now they're a yellow-ish green-ish hazel, almost no
brown. the yellow or green gets accented a lot still, changing the primary
color. I didnt think this was medically possible...
Oh well, maybe this is just the k movign through and it'll all be fine in a
year or so... or maybe its just life as a gemini... augh... :)
any and all suggestions appreciated. :)
there are always possibilities...
Dan.
Dan.
There are always possibilities...
18 Date: Mon, 19 Aug
From: Wendy
Subject: Warning Label: Long email.
Hi All,
Interesting posts lately...I can barely keep up. Sometimes it's
overwhelming there are so many 'threads' I connect with and want to respond
to but most of you all 'say it all' "for" me or before I have even been able
to put the stuff into words!
Dan, I'm amazed at all the physical manifestations you describe! You seem
pretty ok with all the changes.....like it hasn't thrown you for a
'loop'..... (I've done several 'loops'!!!!!! dizzying sometimes!) and I'm
curious to know how others close to you have reacted to the changes (esp
things like eye color, etc..how remarkable)? I'll also be interested to
hear if others know of what you describe in terms of the sensitivity when
being touched, shook hands with, etc. I am way way way too opened up to
taking in pain and this has caused me many times to isolate myself from
others just to keep up my strength at times. Distance. I hope someday to
be able to sit with it around everyone and not have it be so intense.
Suggestions welcome.
I've heard a lot of talk now about awakening the kundalini through various
practices and spontaneous awakenings, both. Have any of you ever seen or
made any kind of direct correlation to spontaneous awakenings and
experiences with the death or loss of someone close to you?
I keep trying to 'pinpoint' my own kundalini.....and can't even begin to be
as specific as most of you are in knowing when it began and which
experiences are k related or not. I *think* it began about 4 years
ago....but the more I read/hear/discuss this with others, I think it was
probably going on a lot longer. Sometimes I just have to let go of even
thinking this is 'k' and just 'exist'...and not try to figure it all out.
But, the mind wants to 'know'...and inevitably I find myself looking for
answers/information/validation again.
Someone here, sorry I can't recall who right now, mentioned that many of
these things that we've experienced might actually be precursors to K rather
than full blown K having already begun. Again, sometimes it's too confusing
to even try to sort out for me. If in fact this is k i've been
experiencing, it has been a roller coaster ride unlike anything imaginable.
And came totally unexpectedly and with no preparation on my part. Highs,
lows, but all through it has been this White Light beacon making it 'ok.'
Even right now, as I try to get across whatever it is I'm tryin to say I
feel very 'fuzzy' headed about it all. Spacey.
I've had a lot of stuff with my feet and circulation lately. It comes and
goes. My feet hurt frequently. The tops and soles - the pain is usually
isolated to one or two spots but the spots aren't always in the same place
when they're hurting. lol that sounds funny...do the spots move? or does
the pain go elsewhere??????>
I think I'm pretty out of touch with a lot of what people describe here that
has happened to them physically. Don't know if that's because it simply
hasn't 'manifested' strongly enough in that way or I just am not
able to 'feel' it very specifically. Does this make sense to anyone? I
don't want to make things more complicated than they already have BECOME
from all this in my life!!!
As far as the connection with death, I'm curious because I've been learning
more about the experiences people have had with NDE. Awhile after what to
me *felt* like what is described as a full blown k awakening my dad died.
Just BEFORE he died I was having a lot of psychic stuff (even before he
became ill). Not with or about him but with others. Automatic writing.
Etc. etc.
I know when anyone close has died before in my life, before any stirrings
(or awareness perhaps?) of kundalini, I have always felt *very* connected
with their Spirit and sensing them 'leave' their physical bodies and return
to spirit. Even when I was not present with them at their death or even
close by. (Hope my terminology isn't too crude or innaccurate to get my
point across here....)
I think the words some of you wrote to Dan about his son and death were so
beautiful and 'right.' I have a friend who is only 19 who is having surgery
for an enlarged thyroid in a week or so. He's been losing weight really
quickly and, until a talk we had recently, I felt he was making light of
both his illness and his fear. Denial. Had been for about a month before he
finally was convinced by a close friend to seek medical help. I know how
valuable denial can be when we 'need' it (for whatever reason at the time we
do) and I just hoped and prayed for him that he'd break through it and start
being more actively involved in his own ability to self heal.
Visualizations work, etc etc. We had a talk the other night and I tried to
explain to him what you all put so succinctly into words here for Dan and
his son. I am going to send him those posts too!!!! They say it so much
simpler and 'better' than I was able to when talking with him. But, I told
him what I 'know' of death from my own experiences/perceptions.
We talked of his fear of death and when I explained what I had been shown he
*got it*....it just all clicked in for him.....the Big Picture stuff.
Hearing him understand and go with this....how it changed his awarness level
and how much happier and at peace he seemed with things....letting go of the
fear of 'outcome' of whether he lives or dies...and focusing on picturing
himself the way he wishes to be....healthy and well.... well....I'm sure
every one here can relate. I know for my friend it was mainly on the
intellectual level, but you also have that knowing sense when there is more,
as well. I know he 'gets it' now....and I can't begin to tell you the Joy
in that...
I'm reminded of the line "the Power and the Glory"......the power of this
awareness continually astounds me and challenges me to work harder to move
closer. I'm like a baby learning how to walk for the first time. Dan G's
description here earlier about how his life has changed, his focus, all
that.....phew....well.....that's exactly where this has taken me, too. I
walk around in the same spaces I 'once' occupied, with the same family and
friends and work around me, etc etc. But I'm a totally 'different' person
(lol i know that's probably not the way to see it, but it's how it feels to me).
Jule, yes I had fun reading your mail. And I'm having fun writing this
tonight. When those moments of Bliss and Joy come....and one is filled with
the Love that's everywhere around and inside us, it's just simply
indescribable. And I'm really thankful for having the List.....all of
you....to share in the Joy and pain and all of it. Thank you.
Mary, I 'read' what you wrote quite differently from the way Dan G did,
apparently. I felt your words were very special and showed a lot of depth
and compassion. I think we hear in each other's words sometimes 'where we
are' at that moment, partly, and that helps explains the different views and
reactions we have with one another, don't you think? Dan's 'reading' made
sense to me, too...but didn't evoke the same feelings I got from your words.
Right now, I'm writing from a place of being filled up with good thoughts
and sending them out to all of you. With extra prayers for all our
struggling stuff in our lives.
Wendy
Leap and the net will appear.
http://www.tiac.net/users/wenders
___________________
Don't take advice, take a chance, roll the dice, learn to dance.
- David Wilcox
___________________